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The Break Up.... Maybe

By Ashley Calver

This has been on my mind for a long time now but I feel Ihave to confess. It’s something I am embarrassed to say, you could say ashamed even. After almost 30 years together and being that constant in the up and down roller coaster I call my life, I need to get this weight of my chest. 

I look at you so differently now than I did all those years ago, there was a time when I could not wait to catch any glimpse Icould of you with my love struck eyes. I stood taller in your presence, I smiled wider and I laughed louder for nothing else mattered except focusing my whole attention on you. Like a siren you called to me and my heart, body and soul answered, like a conductor in charge of the orchestra you controlled my life for so long, like a master of mind control you brain washed me into thinking I would do anything for you and you could do anything for me.

That was then. 

Now. When I see you I struggle to remember the good times, the euphoric times, the positive moments that had my heart pumping from its chest and experiencing what is surely one of the greatest legal highs there could ever be. 

Now. When I see you I struggle to think of much else except if you were ever as dedicated to the course as I was when Ifirst pledged my commitment. 

Now. When I see you I struggle to look at you, I cover my eyes and turn my head away when I talk to you. If possible Iwould cross that road to not have to walk past you and engage in a petulant one way torrent of abuse that you have driven me to.

You were my LIFE, my ONE & ONLY, my LOVE. You were my IPSWICH TOWN!!

It’s time to make a change. I have sung my heart out for you. I have cheered, screamed and shouted for you. I have lost my voice for you. I have argued for you and I have fought for you.  

No longer will I be partaking in this shame of a one way relationship, it’s now your turn to show me the commitment, passion and willingness to do whatever it takes that I and many others have in our support of you. I often wonder if Icould change my alliance to a team would I have done so. The answer is no, my love for you may have gone but there is still a bond between us that cannot be broken.

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